Responding To Tragedy
When something deeply tragic happens in the world, I almost always react the same way. My initial tendency is to hide. My default is to distract and pretend it didn’t happen and/or that it doesn’t affect me and my inner circle. I know I’m not alone in this reaction. I also know this reaction isn’t helpful OR healthy, yet it tends to be true for me. I’m working on this. I’m trying to listen, observe and wait. I’m trying to allow my feelings to come and sit with them. I’m learning to take the time I need to decide how I want to respond, if at all.
One sign of emotional growth is learning to respond rather than react. We choose how we want to respond to a situation rather than allow an unfettered reaction. One of the most important ways to do this is to allow some time to pass between the event and the response. This is one of my concerns about what happens in social media when there is a tragedy that affects us all. People feel the need to give a fast, concise, articulate reaction. To be one of the first to comment. The danger in this is that there’s no way we can have a measured, thoughtful response when our reaction is immediate.
Response to tragedy requires analysis, education, and most importantly room to experience whatever feelings come up for you. Generally, we aren’t people who are even readily able to identify the exact emotions we’re experiencing, much less be able to identify it quickly along with what meaning we’ve assigned to it. My encouragement to you is to take the time to allow yourself to feel what you feel. Let it flood and fill you and move through. As you become aware of where these emotions are leading you, take the next right step for you. Your response won’t look like everyone else’s and that’s not just ok, it’s necessary. We need people who respond with concrete action. We need people who hold space and pray for others. We need people who keep life moving on. What we don’t need is unbridled anger and accusation and reaction. We need thoughtful response to deep pain.
A word for those of us who aren’t in a season where we can handle this sort of pain on a large scale because of our own deep internal pain. It’s ok to turn off the tv, get off social media for the next few days and hold yourself and your life sacred. That’s not hiding, that’s self-preservation and love and it’s the next right thing for many of us.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”