Fear’s Rightful Place
Fear is not an unfamiliar emotion. We feel it often and to varying degrees. It can be sudden and unexpected or come on slowly. It can be brief or ongoing. Fear creates questions. So many questions. The questions are normal, but I want to remind us that as believers, we aren’t left with questions and no answers.
In Matthew 10, Jesus is speaking to his 12 apostles that he has just charged with sharing the gospel and he’s warning them about what’s coming. He’s telling them if they do what he’s asking them to do, they will be beaten, hated. Right after that, he says this:
“Therefore, don’t be afraid of them, since there is nothing covered that won’t be uncovered and nothing hidden that won’t be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the light. What you hear in a whisper, proclaim on the housetops. Don’t fear those who kill the body but are not able to kill the soul; rather, fear him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So, don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Jesus is reminding them that God knows them so intimately and cares for them so deeply that there is no reason for fear. He tells them, it’s ok, those things that are hidden and covered, I’ll take care of it – I’ll bring them out of the dark and reveal the truth. He tells them, if you’re going to fear, have a healthy, holy, reverent fear toward the God who created you – the one who holds our bodies and souls in his hands and determines our fate and future.
Although scripture is filled with the promises of God and how he will calm our fears, I want to recognize that because we are human, we absolutely will feel afraid at times. And the immediate reactions to our fear will be as varied as we are. We may ignore it, deny it, indulge it, make jokes about it, or get angry about it. We sometimes even seek out evidence to justify our fear.
I want to offer two strategies you can try if you find yourself with fear that has become overwhelming.
Let yourself be afraid.
This may sound obvious, but often when we feel scared, we quickly brush it aside and try to move on to an emotion we’re more comfortable or familiar with. For example, it may be harder to accept we’re afraid, so we display anger or irritation. As Christians we may even shame or criticize ourselves when we feel fear. Instead of pushing it down and trying to avoid the feeling, sit with it. See how it feels. Is your heart pounding? Thoughts racing? What’s happening in your body as you feel this fear? Does your stomach hurt? Your shoulders feel tense? Headache starting?
Let yourself sit for a couple minutes. Repeat this exercise any time you feel fear rising until your first response is to accept it, rather than deny it, criticize yourself or feel angry.
Try asking “What Then?”
The goal of this exercise is to take a fear to its logical conclusion through asking a series of questions. Typically, when our fear is overwhelming, our rational thinking flies right out the window! The purpose of this strategy is to slow your thinking down, in order to process your fear.
So, let’s say I’m feeling afraid of starting a new job. I would ask myself, If I did start a new job, what then? Well, I’d have to learn a lot of new skills and meet new people. What then? I might feel overwhelmed. What then? I know when I get overwhelmed, I’m more likely to shut down. What then? I could fall into a deep depression as I have before. You see, when I can slow down my thinking, I begin to realize that I’m not afraid of starting the new job, but rather I’m afraid of finding myself in the depths of depression again. This breaking down of my fear helps me to get to the root of it. Getting to the source in this example would help me create a plan to avoid overwhelm which in turn would stave off possible depressive symptoms. This strategy works with most situations where you feel fear or worry. Use this to slow your thinking anytime you feel overwhelmed. It will help you get to the source of your fear or anxiety.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
God did not intend for us to live in fear. He knew we’d feel afraid occasionally, but I don’t think he wants us to stay here. When we keep in mind that we are called to walk through the world living in our power, operating from a place of love and using the self-control given by the Holy Spirit, we can know that God is truly over all and our fear can take its rightful place.